so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far”
kinda wanna make out, kinda want take-out
"babe, you’re the only girl i talk to"
One time Matt Damon guest starred on Arthur and he looked horrifying.
"so should we draw Matt as a human or as an aardvark?"
you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”
My most frequent recurring dream is that i am a werewolf.
let me lay down some facts for you:
- aliens are real
- horoscopes are real
- skeletons are real
- star wars is probably real
- linkin park is almost too real
yeah but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.